06.15.16

Forgive And Soften

Forgiveness is an expression of love. •Gary Chapman 


Today my friend Kate was kind enough to let us come out and see her horse “Cowboy” with our sweet friend Brae and Rachel. It was lightly raining and humid, the grass was crazy green, and it felt so good to be out in the open. Lately I’ve been humbled and graced by my daughters ability to forgive and show such compassion towards me and my husband. We have and always want to instill in her little heart that mistakes happen, people let us down, emotions can run high, and frustration will happen, even anger. And when those emotions conquer a brief moment in our day, we are constantly reminding each other of the good and honorable that each of us possess. 


We truly are our children’s first example of love and forgiveness. These two words are not separate from one another in my opinion, rather I believe they complete each other like a puzzle. Instead of seeing children’s mistakes as well as our own in a condemning/shaming way, let’s connect with the heart, the feelings and emotions behind the miscommunication, failure, or lack of love. Let’s be a safe place, where we can affirm each other’s strengths and find healing and wholeness together. 

The other day I was frustrated and said something to my daughter in a harsh way. I wasn’t very proud of that in the moment until I heard my daughter speak directly to my heart. She said “It’s okay Momma, are you frustrated?” To which I replied “yes.” She than went on to say “Momma, I forgive you, it doesn’t matter cause I love you.” At that point my cheeks were stinging red and my heart was full and overwhelmed with her sweet grace hovering over me like a cloud. You see when we fall away from who we are in a hot moment we need to be reminded of who we are, our purpose on this earth, and the compassion that lies deep inside each one of us.  


Forgiveness comes by the sweet grace of God that calls forth our true identity and leaves us not feeling ashamed but rather honored, stood by, loved on and lifted up away from our current failure. My sweet daughter and I have been blessed with a very amazing connection when it comes to understanding each others heart. We hold them dearly and securely. We trust, and we listen when we’re frustrated. We learned this and continue to learn this each day we grow closer to our Heavenly Father. 

On any given day one of us will forget, yet the other always has the compassion to seek out the best and offer compassion and love to re-connect our hearts with what’s important. As we inhale  the present moment, the reality that love and kindness is never far from us is comforting at best. It’s right within reach. It lies inside each and every one of us. 


We can’t teach our children forgiveness. They learn by being given the chance to fail and make a mistake. They learn forgiveness when you open your heart, when you open your home to love and not a place of perfection. But rather a space that is freeing, compassionate, and open and honest about feelings and emotions. Forgiveness is choosing love and grace in the face of failure. It’s speaking to a place in the heart that needs a reminder of “Hey, that’s not who you are…you are love, you are kindness, and you are honorable.” 

The amazing part of modeling forgiveness like this to your children is they aren’t simply just saying “I’m sorry” or ” I forgive you” out of duty but rather they are connected with the feeling and the emotion taking place. They are involved in the healing and nurturing of the heart to bring it back to where it belongs. 
Xo

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